Balance of life
by Maya Sunshine
Summary: A quick one shot of Harry's thoughts around his son, James', birth. Please R&R. Rated K .


Even though, at times, the world seems like the most cruel and violent place that has ever existed there are lights in the dark. Wars have been fought, murders have been committed and large amounts of people without families and homes. All these terrible things, that happens everyday, have an opposite. You might not think of the bigger problems of the world everyday, but what if your own problem involves everyone else? What if you're responsible for their well being, if you are the only person that can save them and make everything good again? Harry had seen a lot of awful things and been part of situations most people only hear of in stories. Most importantly, he had experienced death in such an extent he constantly worried that his closest friends and family would be snatched away from him. But, of course, there were also the opposites. White to black, light to dark, life to death. So many people he loved had died to save him, and now, suddenly, instead of someone of his dying, there would be a birth. He would be a father.

Harry never had a father. He did not know what it was like having a father, and that he was suddenly going to be one himself scared him. What if he couldn't take care of his child? What if he failed in being a father? All these thoughts went through his head as he was sitting in St Mungos waiting room. As soon as Ginny got contractions she had shrieked to Harry to "Get the hell out". He'd been ushered out of the room, and was now sitting waiting nervously. At the same time he was irritated though, as he had wanted to be with Ginny when their child arrived. If they ever had any more kids he was determined he would be there to experience their birth.

He heard loads of feet running toward him, so he sat up straight and looked for the source of the sound. Hermione, Ron, Molly and Arthur were rushing down the hall.

"Oh hi." He sighed, standing up to greet them. They exchanged hugs and kisses, before he fell onto the chair again.

"Is everything okay?" Hermione asked, frowning.

"Well, I think so. I'm not allowed anywhere near her you see." He grimaced, and Hermione smirked.

"Well done Ginny." She mumbled. Ron patted his shoulder from where he was sitting next to Harry.

"It'll be fine." He said, but he sounded slightly worried. "All good."

"Listen, you're not making it any better." Harry said hotly. Molly suddenly jumped up and rushed over to a healer. They exchanged a few words and she then followed the healer toward the room where Ginny was.

"What the…" Harry muttered, sitting up straighter.

"It's her daughter." Hermione said, as if it was the most obvious answer ever.

"It's my wife!" Harry retorted. Hermione just sighed and rolled her eyes, then leaning back into her chair looking around with an interested expression. Harry snorted, and started fidgeting.

"How long will it take?" He said into the air, but expecting Hermione to answer.

"Harry, for heavens sake, it's only been two hours. It could be another twenty, who knows?"

"_Twenty_? You're joking!" Hermione closed her eyes, evidently annoyed.

"No, I am not. It surprises me that Ginny hasn't warned you." Warned… Oh. Well, she had warned him, tried to explain it to him more than once. Naturally, he'd been too busy fantasising about what the child would look like to pay any attention.

"Oh…" was all he said. Hermione just shook her head. Arthur, who hadn't said anything since the brief hello, was staring intently into the white wall a few metres away.

"Hey, dad, you alright?" Ron said. Arthur stirred, and looked around.

"What? Oh, yeah, yes, I'm fine." He said with a low voice, trying to smile but failing miserably.

"What could go wrong?" Harry said, creasing his forehead, thinking about the pain Ginny would be in.

"Loads of things. But you can't think of it that way. It's a natural procedure, just relax." Hermione answered, much more patiently now. She'd got into her "school-mood", and spoke the same way she had done when they were still in school.

"Loads of things?" He squeaked, staring wide-eyed at her.

"Honestly Harry, stop asking questions."

"Ask no questions, hear no lies." Harry heard Ron muttering, but he fell silent when Harry shot him a cool look. Just then, Molly came walking back to them. Her face was calm, but in her eyes there was a strange spark. Harry immediately got to his feet, embracing his mother-in-law.

"How is she? What's happening?" He muttered, meeting her brown eyes that were so like Ginny's.

"She's fine. She's resting." Resting?

"Resting?" Could you take a break from giving birth? Harry was completely confused, glancing quickly at Hermione for support. She smiled and had tears in her eyes. Even Ron seemed to understand: he was staring into space with his mouth open.

"Yes, Harry dear, resting. It is quite a job giving birth, take that from someone who knows." As she spoke these words the healer who had been taking care of Ginny came from a hall. Harry met her eyes, and she smiled at him.

"I take it you would like to see your wife." Like in a trance, he let go of Molly and followed the healer through the halls. Somewhere, far away, he could hear the others talking, but they did not follow him, and for this Harry was thankful. The healer opened a door for Harry. In the room, sitting up resting against a pillow, was Ginny, her ginger hair ruffled and her cheeks pale. She looked tired and worn out, but he saw something in her eyes, just like in Molly's. This, though, was different. This was the look only a woman who was a mother could have. She looked up, smiled faintly at him. Not until then did he see what was lying in her thin arms. The feeling he felt as he walked closer and looked at his son was something that could not be compared to any other feeling in the world. He didn't know it was possible to feel so proud and happy at the same time. The little boy had his eyes closed, and was sleeping. The baby's face was still red but he already had dark hair on his head. His small hand was closed around Ginny's finger.

"Oh…" was all he managed to say.

"Indeed." Ginny whispered. His eyes locked with hers, and she smiled again.

"You must be tired." He said, cupping his hand under her chin. She drew a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment.

"Yes, I must be. But I don't want to sleep. I might miss something." He heard the desperation in her voice, and understood her. He'd only first seen this little creature two minutes ago, but he loved him in a way he had never ever loved anyone before. How could you love someone you didn't know? It was beyond him, but he swore to do everything in his power to make his life a good one, and protect him from anything that might harm him.

"Here, hold him." She said, raising her arms carefully. Harry backed half a step.

"I don't… I don't know how to…" Ginny giggled slightly.

"It's not hard in that sense." She said. Harry came closer again. And his wife placed their newborn son in his arms. He was heavier than he would have expected, but still so small and fragile. What if he dropped him? He shook his head a bit, irritated with his foolishness.

"Hello there…" he whispered to the small face. He was breathing slowly, and to Harry's utter amazement the little thing grabbed his finger. He held it tightly and made a strange noise with his tiny lips. Ginny laughed happily, actually crying now. For the first time in many years, Harry felt his own eyes stinging.

"You're crying…" Ginny mumbled, looking puzzled. Harry didn't answer, just looked at his son. His son. He was a father. He came to think of his own father, who had been taken away from him when he was only a year old. No one would take him away from his son. If anyone as much as tried he would destroy them without hesitation.

"I was thinking…" Ginny said slowly. "He looks like a James, don't you think?" Harry looked up, met her eyes.

"James…" He whispered. "Yes, he does."

"James Sirius Potter." Ginny said. Harry felt new tears trickling down his cheek.

"Are you sure?" He said, sitting down on a chair beside her bed, gently giving the baby back to Ginny.

"Absolutely." She said, kissing Harry's hand. Harry in his turn grabbed her soft hand, and stared at James. He couldn't get enough. He wanted to freeze that moment, stay there forever. But life had to continue. And this would not be the last happiness in Harry's life. Everything had an opposite, and Harry had experienced more evil than any other living man. It was now his turn to have some happiness and luck. The balance would be upheld. The balance of life and death.

***

_Hey guys. Just a one shot I had in my head for the last few days. _  
_19 years is such a big time jump... But, I hope you all like it!_  
_Please R&R!_

_Lovelovelove, _

_M xxx._


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